


My Faith Has Run Dry

by caffeinechesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Derogatory Language, Drug Use, Episode: s07e17 The Born-Again Identity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinechesters/pseuds/caffeinechesters
Summary: A darker opening for the episode "The Born-Again Identity".





	My Faith Has Run Dry

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Marilyn Mason's song "Count to Six and Die" which made me rise from my slumber to write this.

He is here, not in the cage. He tells himself every time the earth seems to tilt and whirl around. He knows he should be sleeping. Lucifer isn’t even bothering him right now. He should be, but he’s afraid the moment he feels that falling motion of sleep, Lucifer will pop up and torture him more. It’s moments like that he wonders if anything is real since his resurrection and the eventual destruction of the wall holding everything back by Cas. He slowly blinks, eyes heavy and…

Lucifer wakes him up by singing “Walking on Sunshine” off-key. Dean is still asleep, lumped shaped and oblivious. He needs something to sleep. He needs something, anything because it’s been five days since he slept more than a couple of minutes. Lucifer disappeared when he jolted awake. He wanders to the lobby of motel, maybe the night clerk will know someone or somewhere to get what he needs. Lucifer is in the lobby, perched on desk- gargoylesque-, hands coated in blood. He blinks and everything is back to normal, including the night clerk watching some late night talk show. He must look desperate- a junkie- because the clerk tells right away where to look. He walks to the door, but starts running when he hears Lucifer’s laugh.

He runs, runs, runs, until he stumbles onto the place he was looking for. The dealer was making another deal, which he interrupted, he thinks muzzily. The dealer starts yelling and trying to push him away. He crumbles to the ground, hands around his head. The dealer talks to him. Lucifer is off to the side, mocking.

“You wanna knock out? I can knock you out, but it’ll cost you.”

“I don’t care how much… $100, $200?”

“Not money, but I love to see you on spread out the hood of my car.”

“Anything. Just promise me it’ll work.”

“Yeah, buddy. It’ll work especially after the workout you’re gonna get.”

The walk over to his car is brief, hidden behind some construction materials. The dealer makes no pretense: pushing him down on the car hood, fishing the lube out of his pocket, and pulling down his pants. He feels a finger enter him, then two, and three, and Lucifer on the hood of the car telling him how pretty he looks spread open. Lucifer reminisces about how he used to be able to take a fist or two until his guts were turned inside out, unable to close, and red hot. His breath quickens, panicking, thinking about the hellfire and fileted open. The dealer pushes in, pinning him down like a butterfly with his hands around his neck. He hears the dealer dirty talk about how “virgin tight your cunt is” and he tries to laugh but the guy tightens his hands around his throat. A few more deep thrusts, car beneath him groaning for him, and he feels the guy empty inside of him. The guy removes his hands from his neck as he pulls out. He feels the guy spread him open wide, with him asking to push his cunt out, and he complies. He feels the come slowly slide out of him as the guy pushes it back in. A smack on the ass and the guy motions for Sam to get in the car. He pulls up his pants and heads to the passenger side. Lucifer is telling him that once a whore always a whore.

The dealer gives him ketamine tabs, “enough to take down an elephant or a tweaker”. He dry swallows it as he sees the dealer do the same. Lucifer fades to black as the darkness overtakes him.

The sound of glass shattering wakes him as a bar comes through the windshield. He looks over at the dealer still dead to the world and looks back and it’s normal. Lucifer is singing “Good Morning” while laughing hysterically.

He gets out of the car and starts to walk away. Lucifer merrily walks behind him singing. He feels as if he is a thousand years old, every bone and muscle ache and feel as if they weigh him down.

“I thought you liked my singing! And pills?! You do get that you're just bringing free drugs to the party, right? I am inside you!”

Lucifer is chuckling and ecstatic about it all. He can’t take it anymore and runs. He doesn’t even really feel the car hit him.


End file.
